Updated January 2021
Support from teachers and school staff is crucial for bereaved children and young people, especially during the coronavirus pandemic at a time when pupils are isolated from their usual support networks, extended family, sports groups and friends outside school.
With schools now closed again to most pupils, you may not see your students face to face however, there are plenty of ways you can continue to support your pupils during this difficult time.
How can I help my pupils if they aren’t in school?
This is a time of great uncertainty and potential anxiety for all of us, and for teachers and pupils the huge change in circumstances and the loss of daily contact can be very hard to manage. Here we discuss the various ways in which you can continue to support your pupils.
1. Keeping in touch with pupils during coronavirus
Where possible, the provision of some contact and support from teaching staff can be hugely helpful to children and young people who may be feeling anxious and uncertain, or who may be experiencing the illness or death of a loved one.
Keep in touch, perhaps offering scheduled points of contact with you during the week, using social media, apps, and phone calls. For pupils who are known to be vulnerable, offer additional opportunities to check in with a key member of staff and keep in touch with parents and carers especially if you are concerned about their child.
2. Trying to maintain a routine
Try and bring an element of ‘normality’ to their days by encouraging pupils and parents to continue the school routine from home, and to create some structure to their days, including during school holidays. Offer support and guidance in activities and work they can complete from home, keeping them engaged in fun projects or learning challenges.
3. Listen and reassure
Acknowledge how strange and difficult this situation is, rather than trying to make it better. Listen to their worries and fears: these are real and we can’t take them away, but it will help children if someone they know and trust hears them. Reassure them when you are able to do so honestly.
Be as clear as possible what help is available, both from school pastoral staff and externally within the wider community.
How can I support bereaved children (or those facing bereavement)?
All the principles above are especially important when a child in your care is facing or has experienced the death of someone close. You might not be able to put some of the usual school bereavement strategies into place however, there are some things that schools can do to show students that they are remembered and supported at a distance. Many of these are simply what you would normally do, taken into a virtual context.
Your initial response (to be adapted for your situation)
1. Head teacher (or tutor/class teacher or head of year) makes contact with the family to:
- acknowledge what has happened
- express support
- discuss how to share the news with the rest of the school community
- check if family want their contact information shared
2. Head teacher shares the information with rest of staff and, where possible, follows family choice on how this news is shared more widely with a) the child’s peers and b) the rest of the school. (There are a few exceptions, for example, when the death is known about and already widely discussed within the school community).
3. Head teacher shares information with the governors.
4. Head teacher (or tutor/class teacher or head of year) makes contact with the young person through a written card or letter to the child/young person to acknowledge what has happened and express support.
5. One (or two) contacts are agreed with the family to liaise with them and the child. This may be the head teacher and class teacher, or a less obvious supporter requested by the child.
6. The information is shared with the school community, as agreed with the family. A simple form of words that parents can share with their children is appreciated. For example:
“We have some sad news to share. We heard today that the [relationship e.g. father] of [name] in Year [X] has died. S/he died suddenly/had been ill for a long time. We are in touch with the family and have expressed our sadness and our support. The family would appreciate any condolences which can be sent to [contact details]/At the moment, the family would prefer some time to absorb what has happened but will appreciate your condolences in a while. If you have concerns about your child, contact their class teacher/tutor. “
7. The impact of this news on any other children in the school who have been bereaved or whose relative is seriously ill should be considered and direct contact made by their class teacher/tutor.
8. Check in on staff response. Any death affecting a student can trigger other remembered griefs and, at this time of crisis, a sense of helplessness in not being able to respond as wished.
Further support
1. Keep the support-at-a-distance coming through the chosen contact/s.
2. Consider compiling condolences for the child from their peers. This could include collected messages and compiling an electronic book of condolence to email to the family. Other people might choose to send photos or drawings to remember them by. Once school is open again, you could offer a memorial of these drawings to display in school and then give to the family afterwards.
3. Obtain, if possible, resources for the family, for example: the free Helpline number for Winston’s Wish (08088 020 021), information about grief and children, suggested books and resources. If they are teenagers, offer them helpful websites. For example: www.help2makesense.org; www.hopeagain.org.uk; www.themix.org.uk and the chance to email Winston’s Wish through ask@winstonswish.org or through online chat
4. When schools re-open, remember the support needs of bereaved children in planning their return to the classroom.
Resources for schools
We have many resources on our website to help schools and to help parents and carers support grieving children:
- Free online bereavement training
- Guide to supporting grieving children in education
- A strategy for schools
- A charter for bereaved children
- Booklist for children and young people
The Winston’s Wish Helpline is continuing to operate during this period and can offer guidance, support and information to parents, carers, teachers and other professionals caring for a child who has experienced or is likely to experience, bereavement. Please call 08088 020 021.
To protect our staff, our Helpline is currently operating a remote service, we ask that you leave a message on our answering machine and one of our experienced practitioners will call you back.
You can also email us on ask@winstonswish.org or use our online chat. Our Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger is available 24/7 for urgent support in a crisis. Text WW to 85258.
Other articles you might find helpful
Publications and resources
We offer a range of helpful and practical resources and publications for families and professionals supporting grieving children.
Reading list
Our list of recommended books to explain death and help children and young people of all ages explore and understand their feelings around a bereavement.