How to help a child grieving the death of a pet

Pets offer comfort and companionship, so no matter what mood they are in, children find support and security from their animal friend. When a child experiences the death of a pet, like the death of a person, it can be a very difficult time for them. It’s important to be supportive and understanding as they grieve the loss of their pet. Here are a few things you can do to help them.

Validate their feelings

Grief can bring many different emotions and feelings and it’s important that the child can express their grief in a safe and supportive environment. Let them know that it’s okay to feel however they want to feel. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Be clear and honest

Be honest with the child about what has happened, using age-appropriate language that they can understand, avoiding any confusing terms or expressions. Use the words ‘died’ and ‘dead’ rather than ‘gone to sleep’ or ‘lost’ when telling them. These terms can lead to confusion, especially in younger children who may wonder if they can wake up the pet who has ‘gone to sleep’ or may even become anxious about others going to sleep.

Help them understand death

Death can be a difficult concept for children to understand and it can be equally difficult to know how to begin to explain death to a child. What children understand about death varies depending on their age or stage of development. Help them understand death as a natural part of life, using examples and stories. If they have any questions, try to answer them simply and honestly.

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Give them plenty of love and support

A grieving child may need a lot of attention and care. Make sure they know that you are there for them. Listen to their concerns, provide comfort, and show them that you care.

Help them remember their pet in a special way

There are many ways to celebrate and remember a pet who has died. Create a memory box, make a scrapbook or plant a tree.

Be patient

Remember that grieving takes time, and every child grieves differently. Be patient and understanding with the child as they navigate their grief and adjust to life without their pet. Offer them support and care and always remind them that you are there for them to talk to if they need it.

Getting professional grief support

If you are supporting a child or young person who is struggling with their grief, please call our Freephone Helpline team on 08088 020 021 (8am -8pm, weekdays) or email ask@winstonswish.org. We are here to help and can provide advice, support, and resources. Winston’s Wish provides support for children, young people up to the age of 25 and adults supporting them.

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