The death of a grandparent can be really difficult for a child, and this is often the first bereavement a child will experience. As with any death, the way they deal with their grief can be influenced by various factors, including their age, relationship with the grandparent, and the available support they have around them. Here is some advice on how to help a child grieve the death of a grandparent.
Be truthful about the situation
Being truthful and using age-appropriate language is important when explaining the situation to a child. It’s important to avoid using terms like “passed away” or “lost” that may confuse younger children. Using clear and direct language, such as “died” and “dead,” is more helpful.
Encourage children to ask questions
It is normal for children to ask questions, often over and over again, as they try to understand the situation that has happened. It’s important to let them know that they can ask more questions in the future, and reassure them that you will do your best to provide honest answers, even if you do not know the answers right away.
It’s okay to show your grief too
Children look up to the adults around them for guidance on how to react to their grief. Talking openly to children about your emotions and feelings can help them understand that it is normal to feel the way they feel, whatever that may be, and that it’s also okay for them to talk about their own emotions.
Let children grieve in their own way
As mentioned above, grief brings on different emotions and feelings. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and children should be encouraged to express their emotions in an environment that they feel supported and safe in.
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Maintain a sense of routine
The death of any important person can disrupt a child’s life. Keeping to a regular routine for the child can provide a sense of normality and help them feel protected and secure.
Create ways to remember their grandparent
Grieving can be sad, but it can also be a time for happy memories. Help children remember the grandparent who has passed away by creating a memory box, filled with good memories and photos or maybe create a scrapbook. View all our free activities for grieving children.
Look after yourself
Supporting children whilst they are grieving can be physically and emotionally exhausting. It can also be so much harder if you are also grieving. It’s important to make sure you take care of yourself, getting enough rest, eating healthily, and seeking the right support when needed.
Remember that all children grieve differently. Reassure them that you are there for them and continue to offer support as the child navigates through this difficult time.
Getting professional grief support
If you are supporting a child or young person who is struggling with their grief, please call our Freephone Helpline team on 08088 020 021 (8am -8pm, weekdays), email ask@winstonswish.org or use our live chat (open 8am-8pm, weekdays). We are here to help and can provide advice, support, and resources. Winston’s Wish provides support for children, young people up to the age of 25 and adults supporting them.
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Publications and resources
Specialist books can help you support grieving children and young people and memory boxes are perfect to store treasured items.
Information and advice
Advice and resources to support children and young people, including on bereavement by suicide, homicide and serious illness.